At the end of June, a young American mother described her maternal burn-out in a moving Facebook post with a photo showing the dishes piling up in her kitchen. His publication was widely relayed on the web, many Internet users have identified with his testimony.
"That's what depression looks like." On Facebook, Brittany Ernsperger, a 25-year-old American mother, described her maternal burnout with great transparency. And it seems that his message was echoed by many people since two weeks after its publication on June 30, it had been shared by 207,000 Internet users and commented more than 800 times.
In her message, the young woman describes her malaise with details. "Three days ago, I was sitting on the kitchen floor and I was looking at the pile of dishes crying, I knew I had to do it, I really wanted to do it, but the depression pulled me to the She sucked me in. Like a black hole, "she begins. "No value, no, incompetent, foolish, lazy, that's what goes through the mind of someone with depression all day long," she continues, describing the feeling of guilt that procrastination triggered in her.
"To be afraid that your husband will leave you because he thinks you are lazy, to be afraid to let people in because they think you are dirty, to think that you have let your children down because it is is the third night in a row that you do not have a plate where to put the meal so we order pizzas again ", writes Brittany, explaining that everything else," laundry, cleaning, getting dressed, take a shower, dress children, wash their teeth, all the small spots of everyday life, become a nightmare. And to conclude: "Depression is something that 'strong' people do not talk about because they do not want to be thought to be 'weak', you're not weak, you've been strong during so long and have suffered so many things that your body needs a break (...) I do not care that the only thing you've done today is to put deodorant I'm proud of for you, well done, I'm on your side. "
Depression today affects 300,000 million people worldwide
If by posting this post, the young woman assured not to "seek sympathy" from users, she must have been the first surprise by the magnitude of the responses. Indeed, her testimony was commented by hundreds of women thanking her for breaking the omerta around depression and more specifically maternal burnout.
"I know that feeling, I have dishes in my sink here, I usually leave her for several days, wash half and leave the rest, I've been fighting depression for most of my life ... now I have thyroid problems and I have gained 68 kg since I was 20 years old and I feel that I can not motivate myself to do more, but I am working on my spirituality and I have already made a lot of progress. since my divorce five years ago ", comments a surfer. "This picture and story is incredible, but unfortunately nothing can really make depression understand other than having experienced it yourself and I do not want it to anyone," writes another.
In 2015, depression affected more than 300 million people worldwide, 18 percent more than a decade earlier, according to the World Health Organization. But if, by its increase, the disease is much less taboo than before, the maternal burn-out, it is a subject about which one speaks too little. Especially since the first symptoms (intense tiredness and feeling of being always overwhelmed) are most often ignored by the mother herself. Then, over the days, months, the stress becomes more and more overwhelming, she feels literally emptied and begins to feel less positive emotions for her child and to detach from him.
"The working girl is no longer the ambient model. Female job expectations are declining (women still do not have the responsibilities and wages of men), and this is why the idea that motherhood is the only area in which women can full accomplishment, without qualification, has returned, "explained the psychologist Maryse Vaillant last year at the site Psychologies.com Also, to be able to go ahead, the specialist recommends to accept to mourn the mother ideal. "Of course, there will still be exceptional moments to live, but they will not bring back the wonder, the dream of an ideal maternity. This reality test, every woman experiences when she becomes a mother, and must do with all life, "she concluded, calling the entourage of young mothers to support them as much as possible.
Today, even though Brittany Ernsperger does not give details about her husband and relatives in her publication, it seems that the support of Internet users has invigorated a minimum. "I did not expect so much love, girls, if you feel like that, ask me as a friend on Facebook, I'll do my best to help you or get you to help," wrote the young woman on the social network after seeing the craze caused by his post. And to conclude with a message of hope: "We will come out together, we can only help each other by pulling ourselves up, I am here for you".